SMOOTHIE

What keeps you going?

It’s a deep question so I’ll try to give an equally deep answer. I guess you could call me a lifelong creative but that necessarily wasn’t my first choice in life. Due to a lot of different things happening, writing became the only outlet that made sense and it was an individual practice that I could do alone. A lot of other things I love like sports need other participants. And I never really had a dad who would take me to the basketball courts, or really any support system for anything. So I naturally gravitated to writing because it was a hermit type of passion.

And I was alone a lot. Being alone, you start to think a lot. And the more I thought, the more I just felt sad about imagining people who went through the same circumstances I did and them having literally no representation in terms of movies, music, or anything. I term them as in-betweeners, people stuck in between labels, situations, worlds, societies, or ways of thinking. I felt like they didn't have a voice. I felt like I didn’t have a voice. 

So that sort of ignited that passion to just pursue creativity with the goal of telling those people’s stories. That’s why I love films so much and I graduated from film school - because I wanted to make movies about the in-betweeners of our world. So yeah, I keep going and I keep creating because it’s really bigger than me. I’ve stumbled through the years. Gave up a few times. Some of those times lasted years of blackout - no creativity at all. Just to stay sane and survive. But ever since being in web3, I now see a real path for me to be able to express myself and their stories.

And honestly - this is what I’ve been asking for my whole life. How could I stop now?

What message do you have for other artists?

I’d say a great message is just go call yourself an artist - that’s the most important step. Having done that myself multiple times in my life and having to reaffirm it a lot. You’re an artist. Doesn’t really matter what you create. Call yourself an artist. Being one is mostly long years of self-discovery and your work being milestones of that.

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Don’t be afraid to be inspired by things that actually inspire you. You don’t need to be inspired by a specific painter because you paint or a specific musician because you make music. Your inspiration could come from growing up playing Runescape, or seeing your dad make pizza and that somehow ties into you making movies. Embrace that. There’s a reality, a truth to being inspired by things your heart naturally was inspired by. 

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It makes you whole as a human being. And you become a scribe of those experiences if you willingly accept them as having important parts in your life. I always say every human being is unique but systems are created to make that uniqueness of you - easily identifiable into labels. And if you don’t fit into those labels, you don’t have to force yourself to. You never had to. And that bravery that is inside of your heart - it’s going to inspire a lot of other people too.

Have you ever had reoccuring dreams? If so, give a quick description if you'd like.
A white door - it never gets bigger or smaller. But it spins and the more spins, the more I feel I’m sinking into it deeper and deeper. Until all I can see in my head is that white door. 

Have you ever had a dream with events you thought happened in waking life?
All the time. I’m a dejavu person. I have a lot of moments where I think I already dreamt it before - those exact moments happening in my dream. And it could be the most mundane stuff ever like sitting down in front of a restaurant. I have dreams like that all the time.

Have you had a nightmare that has stuck with you years later?
Yep the white door. That’s the scariest nightmare I’ve ever had - for me. There’s those being chased, monster nightmares, etc stuff but nothing compares to the pure dread I still experience thinking of that spinning white door. And I never really understood what it meant until now. It’s like the most random thing to be afraid of. 

Do you believe dreams are more than just thoughts in your brain?

Oh yes I do! I do an imagination check where I close my eyes and picture the sun - stare at it. You know what happens? My eyes burn. That’s why I’ve always thought imagination, thoughts and by extension - dreams are sort of bigger than thoughts. They are whole worlds, experiences being simulated by your brain. And sometimes I have no idea where it gets the idea to imagine certain things.

I once had a dream I was riding on a saucer but not standing, I was riding it like it was a skateboard and we were floating around a very yellow-ish planet with lots of isotope spikes everywhere. And it was really cool. I’d like to think that world exists somehow, someway.